Here’s the thing about non verbal communication. I get that some people have ways of communicating without words. I actively look for them and try to read them. The issue I have is when people use non verbal deliberately to make you respond a certain way. Then what do you call it?
Short responses when you’re annoyed with someone instead of telling them you’re annoyed.
No kisses when you want someone to know through message that you’re responding to them but things aren’t good.
Acting a certain way around people hoping they will ‘notice’.
See non verbal communication of things that aren’t to do with the person in front of you are understandable. You shouldn’t have to express your life to others. But when the issue is with the person you’re speaking to, don’t you owe them the respect to try to communicate your issue in a way that promotes healthy communication? Instead of using passive aggressive non verbal communication deliberately, which often ends in the other person getting frustrated or having to go to extra lengths to figure out what is wrong.
Maybe being Autistic puts me on the extreme end of being affected by this. Perhaps people often don’t care if they misunderstand others. My ex would say ‘ignore them’ and my dad would say ‘vote with your feet’. But if I’ve learned anything this last 2 years, it’s that communication skills are definitely shocking, particularly amongst the working class. Friendships aren’t reliable and nobody wants to be accountable for their actions.
So maybe it’s not the autism. Maybe it’s the fact education (or lack of emotional education at least) has forced people to ‘vote with your feet’ because the only other answer is to call the person out on their non verbal communication.
And people often have very good answers to why this is a YOU problem.
FaerieFalls 