Dealing with it like an adult.

My dad is amazing.

He has helped me realise a really important part of myself that I didn’t realise was something I could change: how I respond to things.

Here’s the thing, if someone does something that invokes a negative feeling in me, I make it known. I’m aware of this and usually I am ok and the negative feeling is justified, and I’m intelligent enough that I can explain my point in an organized fashion. However when it comes to UPSETTING me; that emotion I am struggling to rationalise.

My dad said it’s stress. He also said that explaining you are upset or unhappy doesn’t have to be a big negative conversation or worse and actual argument.

I never realised it. I had for some reason thought that when theres a problem, it needs to be dealt with and if it won’t be dealt with then you need to put your point across and get to a resolution some other way. Yes, in a way. Some thing should be dealt with in this way. Cheating for example, my dad assures me is something that needs a proper sit down. Not doing the washing up, isnt.

If your partner does something you don’t like, tell them. But it doesn’t have to be something that is made an issue and fixed. Especially if it’s something that is temporary. People get in bad moods and sometimes are grumpy. Rather than make him feel he can’t be grumpy, let him be grumpy and do something else.

He has told me to make a list of serious things that are worthy of an argument. Or things that would be if they were frequent occurances. Then, if I feel like I want to talk to him about something he’s done, look at the list. If the thing is on the list, do it. If not, calmly mention it later on when you’ve calmed down.

Excellent advice.

Time I grew up a bit and took responsibility for my own emotions.