You know that funky thing your computer can do to check for viruses? It’s called sandboxing.
Its great. It pops files you download into a box that’s separate from your computer, while it checks it for malware or viruses.
I found I do this in life.
Everytime ive tried something new, ive done it alone. I’ve never involved my friends in it. I’ve gone away, tried it, then either come back to friends or disappeared and made new friends.
It’s not to protect myself from the new thing. I’m resilient, i’ll find another way if the avenue i’m exploring doesn’t pay off. But others might not. And others have a huge effect on your life.
Bad decisions often cause a problem because of how others respond to it.
How many times have you thought you’d like to try drugs? Many people who don’t take them, are scared themselves. But I’ m sure there’s people who are curious, but wouldn’t want their friends or their mum to know.
How many times have you sat in bed and lied to everyone on social media that you’re at the gym, or in work, or pretty much any place than your bed with a pot of Ben and Jerry’s. Scared what people would think if they knew the truth.
The film the Circle, looks at how being ‘open’ all the time makes us better people. Maybe there’s an element of that. Maybe when we know someone is watching or listening, we are a better version of ourselves. But it’s not a real version. Real humans are not always at their best. Maybe if we didn’t judge each other so much, or hold each other accountable so much, maybe then people wouldn’t keep so many secrets.
We’re scared to be ourselves.
Some people aren’t scared. Some people see accountability as a form of control, and only every play by the rules when there is someone watching.
I’m trying to sandbox less. I’m trying to be honest more. But that doesn’t mean I detail every small part of my life to anyone that will listen, but if someone asks me a question, I’ll be honest. If someone asks me what i’m doing, I try to be honest (unless I’m on the toilet; only certain friends get honesty there!).
I’m less scared of people seeing me try new things. I used to prefer doing most things alone for the first time. But that’s because people always saw me as a confident person, and confidence requires preparation.
I sandboxed my life, so that nobody ever saw my vulnerable side.
#onetocomebackto
FaerieFalls 