I’ve been meaning to put a duvet cover on my duvet for a week now.
Yes im that type of human. The one where you walk in I haven’t made my bed. Or washed my bed. The pillows and blankets are still in the same position they were in when I dragged myself out of bed this morning.
I used to find this an anxiety ridden situation. I used to avoid staying at friends houses where the skirting boards were dirty… Oh how I’ve changed.
All it takes is drugs. They stop you from caring. Possibly once a positive side effect. can I persuade people that narcotics are a suitable substitute for anti anxiety meds? No more than I can persuade people that they are good for weightloss. The people that will try, anything probably already know; the drug users who don’t suffer with these problems, are too high to care; and the people that would be shocked, probably aren’t anxious or depressed enough to take me seriously.
But give me a second.
Most of my worries stemmed from my childhood and my securities.
Because I had to make the choice to leave my home comforts, I had to learn quickly what was more important in life.
A few years ago this paid off and I was offered a home which sparkled. (For any new readers, my ex was a wealthy man) Expensive taste and frequently renewed furniture matched with a regular cleaner and a house so unlived in, that it resembled an Ikea show home Everytime you walked in. It gleamed.
But keeping house was boring. And I found, even with all the tools and ease in the world, it seemed pointless. I remembered all the things I did instead and realised I’d still rather do those things. I realised how utterly pointless it was.
Now that doesn’t mean I let my home get so dirty and dilapidated that bugs are festering there. But that doesn’t happen by leaving a duvet unwashed alittle longer than necessary. It doesn’t happen by letting things getting a smarting of dust on them or by leaving tobacco on the side over night.
Most housework does not have to be done as thoroughly or as often as we do it.
There is a concept called a ‘gateway affect’: that certain things open doors to other things. Weed leads to cocaine, broken windows lead to low socioeconomic growth, an unwashed duvet leads to substandard living quarters.
Maybe there’s some truth here for follower types. Yes. That large quandrant of society that is substantially an idiot, consistently sheep and blissfully unaware of their plight.
But there are people out there like capable of living on the edge because we know where the edge is. We know where the line is between sane survival and a long drop down the rabbit hole. We aren’t going to accidentally fall into the pits of dispair, because we have enough nouse to look where we’re going and plan accordingly.
We don’t have to have high standards way above necessary just ‘because’. It’s actually quite pleasant down here on the breadline. Especially if you choose to be down here. People are too stupid and scared to live down here because of all of the above. But it actually makes life happier
If I had followed my parents, gotten married, never ran away, I would never have ended up down here living out of one room, peeing in a bucket, no running water. I’d risen back up to middle class society and then decided to come back down because I learned the best lessons down here. Made the best friends down here. Had the best times down here.
As it happens, the reason my duvet hasn’t had a cover is because I’m moving. To a house, with Windows and carpets and running water. It’s a good step. It’s not a huge house. doesn’t have furniture so we will be starting all higgeldy piggeldy. But it’s a start.
See. Functioning human here. Don’t judge me just because my duvet hasn’t had a cover on it for a week. Don’t stress. The duvet can be washed. Or burned. It really doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things🤷
FaerieFalls 