Association

I can’t play battleships anymore. It has unsavory connotations with doing drugs. Shame. I used to love it. I used to love Sudoku too. But when you’ve spent too many days sat in the same room doing lines off of a grubby plate, drinking out of a grubby glass, jittering away like a mad person, chain smoking through 10 packs of cigarettes, you play mindless games whilst waiting for the high to kick in or the comedown to start, or basically just to try to stop yourself from floating with the gimble lock on your sanity and drifting off to a place you might never come back from.

That’s why I can’t play these games anymore. Too many memories. Too much nostalgia.

Although when you put it like that, I do wonder what the nostalgia is for exactly. I seem to have spent more time in the jittery phase than in the fun phase.