So I’m getting ready to go home from Scotland. I have slept very little this past 48 hours and I feel fine.
No actually. I feel fine. Fine in the head.
Two possible reasons for this:
1) No drugs were involved
2) I had a clear head when I arrived.
Hmm. Tricky one.
I want to say it’s another change linked to no drugs. That would add nicely to my list. But the power of thinking positively is weighing in my brain.
Life is still not perfect. But I seem to have made a decision. I am slowly getting over him. Having had plenty of time (3 years), the ache I used to get isn’t really there as much. The pull is not as strong. I know him much better now and I know his pitfalls and I am much more sure of myself and my place in his life. Friends. Don’t get me wrong, if he got with a girl tomorrow the grief might start all over again. But for the moment, I am content. We can party and nothing gets out of hand. We went our separate ways home this morning at half past 8 and I wasn’t desperate to keep the party going. I wasn’t desperate to keep him in front of me for just a little bit longer. I haven’t woken up with that familiar feeling in the pit of my tummy, that feeling that it will be another 6 weeks until I see him again. I am content. The grief is subsiding.
Yes. Coming to Scotland with a clear head has made all the difference. But probably the clear head has only been possible because I’m not high.
FaerieFalls 