Relax

I don’t know how to relax. It’s easy during the week or the term. There simply isn’t time. Something needs doing and I’m so TIRED all the time that the days roll together. Then it’s the weekend and inevitably there will be some type of seeing people plan as well as catching up on house cleaning and going to the shop. Before I know it, it’s Sunday night and I’m heading to bed ready to take on the next week.

Now it’s half term.

A whole week and two days to myself. Normally I would drive up to scotland on the Saturday and drive back the following Sunday and I’d never even notice the holiday. But I’m sick. I’m ill. I hadn’t planned to go to scotland straight away anyway. I had planned to see one or two other friends. I’ve cancelled on one already.

Is this my bodies way of saying it’s tired?

When BJ came home this evening, we watched a movie and played some board games. This is a rare occurrence. The last time we both sat down with nothing to do was sometime in the summer I think. I couldn’t relax. I didn’t know what to do. The movie perplexed me further as movies tend to be an hour or two of constant tense moments shadowing emotional moments. It was a good movie though. One I’d seen before so I didn’t have to worry about an anxiety attack.

I tried really hard throughout the games to take in the moment and enjoy it. That helped a bit. I still needed to come on here to write the feeling down though.

Maybe I just don’t know how to switch off and relax?