I tried to rewatch skins today. And yesterday. Why? No idea. All I know is that nothing can recreate that first watch. This pretty much sums up most things.
2 years ago I had the best summer of my life. Nothing can take that memory away. Sadly nothing can bring it back either. There have been many attempts to recreate, but everything always comes up short. I thought it was me. I thought it was age, responsibility, depression, whatever.
Maybe you just can’t go backwards.
Maybe the first time your senses get heightened in that way, it can never be as good.
Just like powders. First time you reach the stars you feel amazing, thats why you chase the high. But it is never as good as the first hit. You keep trying until your nose is battered, your stomach feels tight like a walnut, you can’t stand up straight. Until eventually you are so worn out, you gulp what feels like gallons of water but is probably just a few sips, hoping to flush out your system. Instead you vomit up black tar and water.
Either I keep trying to chase the feeling I had that summer until the black tar comes up. Or I quit while I’m still sane.
FaerieFalls 