I used to hate mess.
I used to hate being dirty.
I used to have OCD about how things were done, where things were kept, what things I did. Washing had to be hung in certain places and in a certain way. I wouldn’t be able to relax unless I had calm around me. Don’t get me wrong, I could cope in mess and disarray, but I would enjoy coming home from yours, polishing the edges of my home until they gleamed.
For years I would wonder how you coped. For years I would see things that had been left or put down and they would still be there a year later. We once put stickers on the walls for some out of it game we were playing. 6 months later they were still there, the sticky residue collecting dust. Washing would sit on the kitchen table for weeks getting saturated with smoke as you smoked inside with the windows closed. The ash trays still full of grime and ash. The carpet coming away at the door, covered with your black hair as you didn’t hoover for 4 years.
You changed all that. I don;t even know why, I’m not entirely sure on the when. I think it happened slowly over time. Now your flat gets a decent clean every two weeks. Your washing smells nice. You can see the original colour of the carpet. Everything is tidy.
And me?
I no longer care about the mess. I’m sitting here writing this in the clothes I wore to work yesterday, that I also wore to work today. I haven’t showered in a few days and haven’t washed my hair in longer. The house hasn’t been cleaned since before christmas. There’s a dripping sound coming from somewhere that I can’t locate. There’s visible dirt and dog hairs all over the carpet. The glass coffee table I used to carefully clean with glass cleaner twice a week, has a month of mug rings on it. There’s washing hanging over the chair in direct line of the gush of air being blown in from where B is having a smoke. My suitcase is sitting there still bulging with unpacked clothes. Everytime I need something from it, I dig it out but leave the rest there.
Over time maybe you rubbed off on me and I rubbed off on you?
FaerieFalls 