Focus

I need a series to lose myself in. Something new. I go through phases, where I’m too busy to concentrate on TV.
7 months ago, I needed that same absorbing attraction. Maybe 7 months, or maybe it was last summer? I honestly cannot remember when I first felt this.

I am possibly going to leave this place. But I have to wait. And waiting means not letting this eat me alive. it means coping. The last time I needed to cope I binge watched a TV show people had always told me to watch: SKINS

Skins doesn’t do it anymore. I need something else. There has always been something. I first encountered this coping mechanism when I was suicidal living in a flat on my own. The only thing I spent money on was alcohol and even then I’d steal what I could. I walked into HMV one day to see what I could make it out with to sell on eBay. I saw a boxset for rosemary and thyme. A show I used to like when I was a kid. Not a cool show at all, not the latest show. It wasn’t even something I could relate to, miss Marple gardeners, what? I spent money on it that was well worth it. I watched it over and over again for weeks.

That boxset saved my life.

Ever since then I’ve had an obsession. I’d remembered binge watching friends over and over again when I’d lived in Australia. Another failed attempt to ‘find myself’. I’d get to series 10 the final episode, cry into a bottle of wine and start episode 1 series 1 again.

When I was living in Clausentum, I bought all 7 series of Sabrina the teenage witch and watched them back to back whenever I felt sad or down.

I got into comedy series. I’ve done big bang theory. CSI I get into but then I get too into the story line and it’s so loooong. I get bored. I drop it. Then it takes ages to get back into it again. Maybe because I’ve been trying to finish watching the series for 10 years now. Maybe it’s time to give up?

I need to find another show…