The Answer?

I probably come to this conclusion a  hundred times a year.

The answer to all my problems: I need to just get out of the house and make plans. Get out of my head. I’m making the most of this feeling because after ‘getting out and about’ i often end up deeper into my own head.

I keep forgetting to take my meds. Luckily only by hours. But the hours are getting longer and longer. I’m now up to 5 hours late. Most of the time, just missing a dose by an hour or so made the ground swallow me up. The pressure would build in my head. But this time? I feel normal. Just happy.

I need to keep remembering: It’s okay to feel happy, just not to let the happy take over. Don’t forget the downs. The downs are so bad that I want to forget. I don’t want to be thinking about the downs when I’m happy. But I have to. Because if i forget, they will creep up on me. It’s like a swing. What goes up must come down again. Suspending half way up is the skill. How? I’m still not sure I have the answer….