I’m elated.
I hardly sleep at the moment.
I know the moment i write this i will stop. I have realised that blogging about my mental health is my version of talking therapy. I get it all out of my system, all the feelings, gone. Then I’m back to a sort of hiatus between high and low and maybe the next one will be a low. Who knows.
Maybe it will be in a week. A month. A day. An hour? Pfff anything is possible. I’ve learned that about myself too. Anything is possible.
I can switch from cold harsh disciplinarian to cuddly mumsy teacher in seconds. My mother used to play this game when i was younger. Genetics at their finest.
This week i have woken up between 4 and 5 every day. I have baked more cakes than I care to eat. The little blue pills help me stay asleep and i wake up with a jolt after a safe 8 hours of kip, wondering which way is up and which is down. Which is inadvertently not helping my weight issue as i need two cups of sweet tea and a packet of Jaffa cakes to feel like a human in the morning. Not to mention the coffee i get around 8am (gotta keep the caffeine in line with my circadian rhythm)
I started baking cakes instead of buying them, so i would eat less cake. Only now I eat more cake and my kitchen is perpetually covered in flour.
New obsession? Probably. from one obsession to another as they say.
Meds currently:
40mg fluoxetine daily (20mg morning pill at 7am and same around 5pm when the afternoon slump has hit)
20mg amitriptyline daily, two little blue pills around 8pm to keep me asleep for the required 8 hours of sleep one needs each night.
Plus the standard 300mg of lymecycline for skin each morning as a preventative measure for skin cancer, and 200mg fexofenadine daily as needed (it’s allergy season and pirateze never worked for me).
Do i add my list of vitamins and supplements here too? Hmm food for thought…
FaerieFalls 