One girl's battle with life
I don't remember factual information. I won't remember that pointless job you wanted me to do, or the abbreviation for a process that takes longer to decode than if you just described it to me in the first place. I won't remember your name. I will remember how something makes me feel, even if I… Continue reading Perception and memory.
Networking is the bane of my career. I used to think I just didn't understand it. I thought maybe it was fear and anxiety and all sorts of things. Now I think differently. It might not apply to everyone, but this is how I see it. The premise is fine: keep in touch with people… Continue reading Networking and autism.
That mirror is grotesque. See that mirror over there? The one that covers the wall. It shows everything. And nothing. It shows me not smiling. Lies. I am always smiling. The soft blankets and matching bed sheets look warm and inviting on the bed. Lies. I miss the duvet cover with no buttons, the ratty… Continue reading A bottle of wine a day keeps the mirror at bay
I like to help people. I always believed educating yourself is the best way forward. But teaching people and children to read, write and pass tests isn't going to cut it in the cesspool of reality that most of the strugglers inhabit. Gothboy was educated. He got good grades, could play various instruments, could understand… Continue reading Facilitation, not just education.
Conversation is passing me by at the moment. I dove deep into the caverns of self reflection to find some answers. Maybe this will work for you, too? Some online digging into social skills suggested "anecdotal information" is a useful tool. I have things to say. I know things. I can learn things. Talking about… Continue reading The Conversation Conundrum
I am learning lots about my sexual appetite. Refining it. Defining it. Meeting my needs. Finding new ones. To me, sex is a necessity. I can't live without it. I think about it. A lot. Quite selfishly. I enjoy exploring new ways to achieve new feelings. The most exciting of all? Sex in life. The… Continue reading Sex and beds.
Don't look back. I never did. Days. Weeks. Months. Years. You were a memory. A story of my past. I didn't forget. I just. Lived. I lived when you didn't. Because of that, we didn't have anything in common anymore. I remembered something today. When something didn't sit right, you always used to say "it's… Continue reading Dear Gothboy
Healing. I am healing, they say. I am healing differently this time. Less alcohol this time. No weekends forgetting my own face in some bar somewhere. Instead I'm reading. Classical fiction. Sematic fiction. Religious fiction. Fan fiction. I'm not a literature academic. Just a thinker. "Thinking is the pastime of those who can't do", I… Continue reading The Human Disease
When did I start taking things so seriously? Was it last year when my ex turned? Two years ago when COVID hit? Four; when I left my partner, career and life behind for no apparent reason and headed for the mountains? I've always felt things strongly. But fleeting. Life always goes on. This relentless intensity,… Continue reading Enough now.
What if what you want is just wrong? So wrong that you wonder if someone just heard you think. Someone with a gun who can point it in your face if they so choose. I want things that don't make any sense. I've long since stopped wondering why, but it pickles my brain every now… Continue reading What you want
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