I am learning lots about my sexual appetite. Refining it. Defining it. Meeting my needs. Finding new ones. To me, sex is a necessity. I can't live without it. I think about it. A lot. Quite selfishly. I enjoy exploring new ways to achieve new feelings. The most exciting of all? Sex in life. The… Continue reading Sex and beds.
Dear Gothboy
Don't look back. I never did. Days. Weeks. Months. Years. You were a memory. A story of my past. I didn't forget. I just. Lived. I lived when you didn't. Because of that, we didn't have anything in common anymore. I remembered something today. When something didn't sit right, you always used to say "it's… Continue reading Dear Gothboy
“Just be yourself”
I used to listen to music in the early hours of the morning. And then they turned the internet off. I used to make music with anything I could find. And then they took the instruments away because I wouldn't learn scales. I used to paint to let out my creativity. And then they told… Continue reading “Just be yourself”
The Human Disease
Healing. I am healing, they say. I am healing differently this time. Less alcohol this time. No weekends forgetting my own face in some bar somewhere. Instead I'm reading. Classical fiction. Sematic fiction. Religious fiction. Fan fiction. I'm not a literature academic. Just a thinker. "Thinking is the pastime of those who can't do", I… Continue reading The Human Disease
Not long until the flowers.
Theres a spot in my house I've found. A spot in place and time, of peace. In the early, humid spring evening, it's not quite warm enough to have the door open. I'm smoking again so I have to open something. I remembered the large kitchen window has a smaller sash at the top. I… Continue reading Not long until the flowers.
Enough now.
When did I start taking things so seriously? Was it last year when my ex turned? Two years ago when COVID hit? Four; when I left my partner, career and life behind for no apparent reason and headed for the mountains? I've always felt things strongly. But fleeting. Life always goes on. This relentless intensity,… Continue reading Enough now.
What you want
What if what you want is just wrong? So wrong that you wonder if someone just heard you think. Someone with a gun who can point it in your face if they so choose. I want things that don't make any sense. I've long since stopped wondering why, but it pickles my brain every now… Continue reading What you want
Like.
Yesterday my friends uncle knocked on the door of where I was out of the blue. He asked me how I was, remembered my job and other information about me. I haven't seen this man in over 2 years and I only saw him a handful of times when he gave me a lift home.… Continue reading Like.
Privilege
I never thought I'd be this employee. The person whose tardiness is becoming a pattern. The person who's time sheets are always late. The person who is bluntly cynical. But I also never expected to be homeless, living out of a tent. I never expected to be pitched pillar to post to wherever was most… Continue reading Privilege
Dandelion
I'm sitting doing nothing for a bit. The soft rain tickles my hands as the wind blows it my way. The sun beams through the rain clouds when it can, and warms my face. It's not cold. I'm wearing my mum's knitted cardigan. The dog is keeping me company. He won't leave my side. The… Continue reading Dandelion








